i don't feel beautiful when i travel

Tight muggy metros, cramped museums, minimal sleep, 15 miles of walking/sprinting. These are typical traveling climates and experiences. I am claustrophobic, afraid of heights, get anxiety when overwhelmed, and hate being sweaty. Thus, I feel far from beautiful when I travel. Yet when I reach my destination, I feel that I transport a piece of it within me. The airy and open Mediterranean coast at sunset in Santorini, the gothic and magnificent Segrada De Familia, cozy and quaint fireplaces nestled in the country sides of England, peaceful windmill villages with their whispering activity in Holland. When I am in these settings I am at peace with myself. Even with lack of sleep, beauty products, hair tools, my favorite wardrobe pieces, and resembling a pack mule with all of my belongings.

When I look back all I see are genuine smiles, so large and cheesey I can barely keep my eyes open. I see a scared girl finding her way. Confidence, minimalism, rolling with the punches, embracing who God made me to be. No I do not feel beautiful, but I feel engaged, enlightened, inspired. And isn't that the definition of feeling beautiful?

"We get so worried about being 'pretty.' Let's be pretty kind, pretty funny, pretty smart, pretty strong."

No I may not feel beautiful, but I feel pretty brave, pretty smart, and pretty lucky to be given this opportunity. And that is exactly how I want to feel.

1 Samuel 16:7 "God does not see as humans see. Humans look at outward appearances, but the LORD looks into the heart."

xoxo,

Leah Joy