Christmas Adulting

You know you’re an adult when… Christmas edition

The holidays bring about times of happiness and cheer. But the season has a different feel to it when you are no longer a student, and instead are full on adulting.

1. Christmas Break is Fe Liz Navi NADA. No more Christmas Break. You don’t have a month off to lounge in your pajamas while binge watching Netflix. Instead, you will find yourself at work.

2. Instead of being exciting to line up to see Santa you either: A. Feel bad for the poor guy B. Find yourself trying to figure out if you know who is under the suit and itchy beard, or 3. Find yourself in line to get a selfie/photo with Santa. Or in Pella's case, Sinter Klaas.

1. Praying that Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve, and New Years are on week days, not the weekend so you get more days off!

2. Instead of avoiding mistletoe because that means “cooties”, you search it out like a hawk. Because obviously everything good happens to Hallmark movie characters when they find themselves under mistletoe, right?!?

1. Having to schedule “time off” for family functions. This goes along with no more Christmas break. You have to scrunch in as many family things as you can in as little days as possible, especially when you don’t have any PTO built up. I also hate myself for using adult acronyms already like PTO.

1. When your friends are cramming during dead week and finals week, it’s just a normal work week for you.

2. When you receive money as gifts, you smile as you will be using it as gifts for others. (I feel like such an adult/mom when I do this). Money is truly and literally the gift that keeps on giving.

3. You do what you can to afford that one thing you’ve been wanting to buy for someone! Maybe you eat only peanut butter and jelly and apples for two weeks so you can buy that one super awesome techy thing for that guy you love.

4. You may even spend Christmas money meant for gifts on your ticket home (not my case, but I know it is for some!)

5. Decorating your apartment for Christmas with little space and a small budget is HARD. Thank goodness for the dollar section in Target. (Okay, but have you noticed nothing is every only a dollar? Kind of a scam, but I still can’t get myself to abandon it). Charlie Brown Christmas trees and fairy lights replace 8 foot trees with ornaments. *Sigh* it will have to do for now.

1. Going off of this, buying stockings is such a debacle for me. Do I buy only two and just hope that someday when we add to our family they just magically have the same ones in stock? Or do I stock up on stockings so we have a complete set someday? I came home with four stockings, and Lucas’ reaction was “No, we are not getting any dogs.” Can I hang four stockings only though it will just be the two of us for awhile?! Oh, life’s questions.

2. Instead of watching Christmas movies in class, decorating cookies in dorm rooms, or petting service dogs on campus, you have office Christmas parties. Yes, awkward gatherings where you pick someone’s name out of a hat and buy them a secret gift even though you know absolutely nothing about their personal life other than what little information they have within their cubicle. No stress or anything. And is it white elephant or a good quality gift???

3. “Office Christmas parties” consist of free meals, a couple hours away from your desk, and mingling pretending like you’re not at work so you can actually let loose a bit. You never know if you should wear an actual ugly Christmas sweater to these parties to show how festive you are, or if you wear something kind of ugly or kind of cute, or just go with the effortless “I forgot to wear my sweater” just in case no one else wears their sweaters so you don’t look like a dork. Do you go with a hipster sweater? Or a classic Bill Cosby meets great grandma’s itchy reindeer sweater? All second hand stores sell out WEEKS before Christmas, so you either have to inherit or plan ahead!

4. Your Christmas wish list consists of extremely practical items (like socks, a new belt, crockpot liners, etc) or is nonexistent. You literally do not know what you need, because the only things on your mind are food, rent, gas and utilities.

5. Going home for Christmas doesn’t mean packing up all of your belongings, cramming them into your fuel efficient car, and jetting home after your last final. It is just an overnight bag. But the promise of free food with minimal effort brings you home nonetheless.

1. Coordinating multiple family Christmases. This goes along with minimal time during the holidays. Four sides of family, different schedules and traditions, different locations. For a Type A Event Coordinator who needs a color coded line by line timeline/schedule, this is a huge stressor for me.

2. Instead of crazy ugly Christmas sweater parties in a sweaty house with a bunch of strangers and who-knows-what is in peoples mugs, you crave a night in at home with fuzzy socks, a matching flannel plaid pajama set, netflix, and a huge glass of hot chocolate (or wine). Or even better, a Friendsmas where you all do this simultaneously. Just like my friends when I went on exchange in Exeter, England.

1. You savor family time even more. Everyone has busier schedules as you grow up. More obligations, more people tugging for their attention, etc. Christmas is the one time that you can fully connect. I now understand why my family spends quality time together instead of worrying about expensive gifts. I would SO rather choose a night in together exchanging words of affirmation than tearing into expensive gifts I won’t even remember a year from now. (Seriously, can you recall the gifts you all opened last year?!? It’s sad when you really think about it.) As I grow older, I realize how much more valuable my time is than it ever was, and how easy it is to get sucked into the materialistic side of the holidays. Especially while wedding planning. I go to work, come home, wedding plan, go to work, come home, wedding plan, clean my apartment, pack up my apartment, work on bridal shower thank yous, work on thank you gifts for friends and family, table arrangements, timelines, playlists, the list goes on and on and on.

If you want to give a valuable gift this Christmas, be all in wherever you are. Put away the cell phone. Turn off the ball game. Plug into those around you and ask how they really are.

My Uncle Matt & Aunt Lisa are notorious for asking the best conversation questions. I always thought they just flew off the top of their head. It turns out, they create conversation topics together before gatherings that they can ask to be intentional and create meaningful conversation. All of these years, I thought that it wasn’t something that I possessed. When in reality EVERYONE can do this.

It’s easy, on the way to your family gathering, talk with your spouse, family members, etc what questions you can ask others to be even more intentional this Christmas season. Instead of “How are the kids?” “How’s your dog?” “How’s school going?”

Ask things like “So I see you’re enjoying your soccer season, Eli. What was your favorite game that you played and why?” “How old is Jade? She seems like such a good puppy. I can just tell by the smiles on your face!” “What is your favorite class from this past semester and why? What do you hope to take from it to apply into the future?”

I know at this age it can be heard to connect as a young adult not knowing where you fit in. I am out of college, but not married (yet ;) ). I don’t have kids, but I have a full time job. This takes those awkward ice breaker questions out of the picture and lets you connect right off the bat. Intentional time spent is always better than “required” time spent.

Photo above by Jennifer Weinman Photography