//On Gaining A Husband and Losing An Organ

Leah Rozendaal
Jan 19, 2018
6 min read

“When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow.”

― Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way

Wow, I don’t even know how to put this last month into words. Within four weeks, I graduated from college, got married, went on our honeymoon, and was hospitalized. I have learned so incredibly much in these four weeks it is just unreal.

I made a Facebook post about everything that ended up going wrong on our wedding day. I always want to be candid and authentic, and I was glad I could share how even though it may have seemed perfect, many things went wrong. Why did I do this? To show you that :

a. Not even an event planner has a perfect wedding and

b. It is not the end of the world if your wedding has some hiccups.

My goal was to not let those unfortunate problems ruin the day/ruin my memory of the day. I can truly say I look back on that day and laugh at all the problems that arose, and am proud of how we handled every speed bump that jumped in front of us.

This just seems to be a theme in my life. Overcoming obstacles with contentment and a joyful heart. I definitely don’t follow this perfectly, but have been striving to do so. Marriage has truly been a gift that has helped my outlook on that. I’ll give you a quick overview.

Our wedding day was just what I was hoping, a white winter wonderland. However

We faced subzero temperatures, a minor car collision, a makeup artist no-show resulting in a last minute makeup appointment, my wedding dress bustle tore on our way out of the church, a couple of people felt very under the weather, Lucas’ car had a tire pop while his brothers were driving it to the reception, his camaro almost couldn’t leave the church with us insde, and we drove in a really bad blizzard after the reception. Yet, it was the best day of my life. Hands down. Those moments just truly showed me why we were doing this wedding. It was to celebrate a marriage, which lasts much longer than the wedding day. (Photo by Jennifer Weinman. We cannot wait for them all to be released!)

As we left for our honeymoon, our flight was delayed 7 hours in the Des Moines Airport. Resulting in a 12 hour delay because of missing connecting flights. This was due to the -30 degree temperatures, the hydraulics in the bridge to the plane, the diesel in the equipment gelling up, and the pilot not being told he was flying that day. I honestly wasn’t even that mad though (okay, at the time maybe we were). Lucas and I had a great time. We just were so happy to be finally married!

Our honeymoon was absolutely perfect! (I will be writing a blog post later about our honeymoon specifically). It was exactly what we were wanting: the perfect mix of immersion into the Mayan culture and relaxation on the beach. Again, we overcame obstacles. Yet I was happy to do this with him by my side.

Trouble started brewing as we left paradise. I started feeling pretty sick on the plane ride home from Mexico. I usually do not get motion sickness so this was alarming as I fumbled around for the infamous waxy barf bag in the seat pocket in front of me. I thought this was due to all of the seafood we consumed, as well as the turbulent plane ride. Looking back, we are so glad that we were on our way home when this started happening.

Yet, it just kept getting worse. By Thursday evening, I couldn’t sit up without sobbing. After reassurance from Lucas, and some coaxing from my on call nurse (my mother), we drove to the ER at 9 PM. After taking many different forms of bodily fluids, some scans and tests, it was announced that I needed surgery ASAP the next morning to remove my appendix. I was so happy to have my best friend holding my hand next to me, praying over me, reassuring me. I was just so relieved we were married at this point so that he was allowed to be with me “after visiting hours.” I was wheeled up to the Pediatric Unit which was a tad bit ironic, since I was just feeling like an adult being married and all. Lucas slept on a cot in the room, and never complained. He even sat in the most uncomfortable chair because it was closest to my bedside.

I was laughing, smiling, and cracking jokes the entire time at the hospital. Even though this was my first surgery, I wasn't scared. You know why? I felt taken care of by my husband, and I knew my heavenly Father had me in his hands. It is no coincidence that I made it back to Iowa from Mexico so that I could have this procedure in my own country, let alone my own town. And that I have a mother who is a nurse who urged me to go in so that my appendix didn't rupture. In addition, Lucas had two days off of school anyways, and I had surgery on a Friday so I had the whole weekend to recover.

“In sickness and in health” was part of our story within 12 days of marriage. I wouldn’t trade my appendectomy for the world. Why? Because it kept us real. I know that he will love me when my hair and makeup is 10/10, I’m wearing the most gorgeous gown, and love surrounds us. Yet I also know he will be there for me when I’m wearing a hospital gown, haven’t showered in three days, and my face is raw from crying. I found I love him just that much more when we are suffering. The pain magnifies the sweet moments, and makes me appreciate them more.

I didn’t think that we would experience that portion of our vows until after having been married a bit longer. I found that I am so glad we experienced it right out of the gate. It’s kind of comical, really. How he saw my absolute best, and absolute worst within 4 weeks. He saw me on the day that I felt like the most beautiful snow queen, and weeks later he also had to help me go to the restroom, hold my hair back while I threw up, and see my bruised and painful incisions. Yet I could see in his eyes, and he let me know I was still just as gorgeous as ever.

My mom had an amazing impromptu speech at our wedding about tulip bulbs which were our wedding favor. She also stated how weddings are amazing, but they are just one day. We all go through hard days and seasons, but weddings are special in that you are completely surrounded by those who are rooting you on!!!!!! Watch our wedding video below by Lauren McDonald to hear the whole thing:

I love how she talks about how tulip bulbs need to be cold for 1,000 hours. They need to die to themselves, so that they can grow something beautiful. Now I’m no marriage expert, or perfect person, but this is just such a beautiful concept. Using the cold, dreary, painful times to store up the energy and anticipation of when the spring will come and we can bloom again.

Here are some photos from our friends and family who are “force growing” their tulips right now.

As Lucas and I ate leftover wedding cake and opened up cards from our wedding during my recovery, we were overwhelmed with the love you have all shared in kind words, prayers, gifts, and walking beside us. We may live in a very old apartment with the smallest kitchen I have ever seen, but our lives are rich in blessings from all of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the prayers on the hard days, and the rejoicing on the good ones.

-The Rozendaals

(Photo by the amazing and talented Jennifer Weinman)